Yep that’s right folks it’s another installment from the Sorry, Internet. Kitchen, which is definitely a recurring feature of this blog that gets new updates all the time.
You see that headline? Super Bowl nachos recipe. I once took a class in journalism school that covered search engine optimization during one of its lectures. Super Bowl nachos recipe. They told us it was important to have your target SEO keywords (Super Bowl nachos recipe) in the headline and then repeated in your first paragraph, so Google might put your result first on the list. Super Bowl nachos recipe. Time to get rich off Super Bowl nachos recipe!
Alright, anyway. The Sorry, Internet kitchen is back at it again with the good eats today, creating nachos for you to devour during The Big Game™. I made nachos for my own consumption during two recent weekends of the football season, after I realized that football would soon be over, and becoming dismayed and worried that I hadn't yet reached a respectable amount of nacho consumption during the course of the season to date.
I ventured forth and created two different types of nachos on these weekends, sampling two different recipes that I mostly at least kinda invented myself, knowing full well that one of them might end up on this blog. After the huge popularity of my pizza soup recipe blog, which drew one of the largest crowds in presidential inauguration history (real and unedited photo proof of this is to your immediate right, or below if you're on mobile), I knew I could not wait too long to post another recipe, lest I disappoint my followers.
The two nacho recipes can each be described using multiple words strung together in an order that creates a phrase. The first one could be called roast pork nachos with stuff on top of sweet potato waffle fries and the second one was known by the catchy little name of shrimp nachos with stuff on top of blue corn tortilla chips. Comparing and contrasting these two recipes prompted me to choose the shrimp nachos for this blog, for a number of reasons. Chief amongst these reasons is that the shrimp nachos take way less time and relative skill to cook, and they were also more satisfying because they were crunchier. The sweet potato waffle fries get soggy when you load them up. I will still write about pork on this blog some day tho, as I am passionate about it.
Super Bowl Shrimp Nachos: How To Make Them, How To Eat Them, How To Love Them
If you want to create these nachos, you're going to need ingredients, and most of the ingredients are food. The list of ingredients is below, but it's very important to keep in mind that you are not forced to use all of them. In fact, reading this recipe does not obligate you to make this food at all. You could just hate shrimp, or not enjoy nacho-type dishes ... in which case, I recommend replacing the shrimp with pizza soup, and perhaps not even cooking or arranging any of the other nacho portions of this recipe, and instead literally just making pizza soup.
Per usual, the measurements are more "ballparked" than they are "scientific." There is no scientific evidence which I have seen or read that shows using a "pinch" of salt rather than a "quarter teaspoon" of salt is contributing to climate change.
The great part about making these nachos is that you can apply multiple portions of this recipe to making other types of foods. You can make the shrimp again to eat them in tacos instead, or even just as shrimp, I guess. You can make this homemade habanero salsa and sour cream/guacamole mix thing next time you have Mexican food. Etc etc whatever.
Salsa disclaimer! The homemade habanero salsa is pppp spicy. I like spicy food, so I didn't mind it much; Katie doesn't like spicy food as much as I do and she was also not really bothered by it. If you're very sensitive to spiciness, you can opt out of the habanero and use a fresh jalapeño pepper instead. If even that scares you, then add however much spice you want by your own means. I don't respect half-measures.
The Stuff You Need For Super Bowl Shrimp Nachos
You're going to want to buy some shrimps. I suggest buying them fresh, but frozen is fine too I guess. Oddly enough, when I purchased the shrimp for this recipe myself, I found my brain completely incapable of imagining a gross poundage or ounce-age that seemed appropriate! I thought maybe between three-quarters of a pound or a full pound would be about right, but I was worried I'd have to ask the supermarket seafood guy to then add or subtract some shrimps. So I imagined myself eating my nachos and decided that I wanted ten shrimps for my own usage. I then asked for twenty total shrimps, so Katie would also have her fair share, and the man stared at me incredulously -- like no one had ever asked him to specifically count out twenty units of the pre-washed, de-veined medium-size shrimp before. Unreal! Turns out that twenty of these shrimps was like .89 pounds so my original guess was correct.
Buy Old Bay seasoning if you don't already have that at home, which you should, if you ever eat popcorn at home.
A bag of blue corn tortilla chips, or whatever type of corn chips you normally enjoy at home when you're sitting on the couch watching a sports match that you wouldn't normally care about.
Most cheese starts out as basic ass sliced American yellow cheese, but you're going to want to buy the final Pokemon evolution of supermarket cheese, which is one bag of shredded Mexican blend cheese.
One can of black beans, or get pinto beans if you like those more, I am (as usual) not the cops. Whichever version of beans suits your fancy.
One or two avocados depending on how much you personally love avocados.
A thing of sour cream.
Lime juice. Either buy a thing of lime juice or buy like...idk maybe four limes?
Scallions or green onions or whatever they are called. These things.
Some cilantro, the kind that is not in a seasoning shaker thing, literally the fresh plant/leaves version.
One fresh jalapeño, you should not buy pickled jalapeños unless you are making a submarine sandwich tbh. This is optional and will only be used if you want extra spice in addition to the salsa.
You're going to need some garlic, and like the pizza soup recipe said, you should just have a big thing of minced garlic in your fridge. If you don't have the big thing then buy one real garlic.
Fair warning: The next few bullet points are all about the homemade habanero salsa we are going to make. I highly recommend making salsa at home if you can -- which is to say, if you have a food processor. If you don't have a food processor, it's just not going to turn out right unless you are really good at chopping stuff and have a lot of patience.
One medium white onion
Three medium-ish tomatoes
One fresh habanero pepper
Salt, pepper, etc
Okay, that's all the stuff you need. The ingredients above were enough for me and Katie to eat for dinner and we would have had a fair amount of leftovers if I didn't decide to just eat all the rest. Multiply this recipe for every extra pair of mouths you're trying to feed.
How To Prep Your Super Bowl Shrimp Nachos
Most of the task at hand here involves arranging stuff, because...we're making nachos. There are some things you can do before you get started to make your life easier later.
Pre-heat the oven to likeeeeeee 450 degrees or so.
Wash and quarter your tomatoes. Peel the onion, then chop the onion in half and cut that half into quarters. You will not need the rest of the onion. You can place the half-onion in a bag and start a semi-viral Twitter account if you want, or you can chop it up in front of your significant other just to make them cry, or you can keep it in the fridge for use at a later time :)
Cut off off the top of the habanero pepper, throw away the top and carefully place the seeds into a rocket ship and launch them into outer space they are TOO SPICY in my opinion. Chop the habanero into fourths as well. Remember that your hands will be spicy AF after you touch this thing so use gloves if you must or just wash your hands with soap right after this. If you hate yourself then go ahead and rub your eyes after chopping the pepper, you'll wish your eyes were on their way to Earth's orbit along with the habanero seeds.
Put all of that stuff into your food processor bowl. We'll deal with it later.
Chop your avocados.
Wash or un-freeze your shrimp if needed.
Uhhhhhhhhhhh I think that's it.
How To Cook Your Super Bowl Shrimp Nachos
Here comes the main event. It is time to cook the food. Alright. Get psyched up by listening to hair metal in the backseat of your car and punching the front seat and/or slamming your head into it. If you don't have a car or don't have any good hair metal handy, you can always amp yourself up by downing several Red Bulls and then seeing if you can do a cartwheel. I've never been able to do one!
Go ahead and put a cast iron skillet in the oven while it's pre-heating or already hot or whatever. We just want it to get warm. Use a baking sheet, or multiple baking sheets, if you're doing a bigger version of the recipe.
Time to cook the shrimps. Put olive oil into a pan and let that start getting hot. Do not touch it to feel if it's hot ... just kinda guess ... or you'll get burnt. Season your shrimp with as much Old Bay seasoning as you like. If you use a ton of it you might get a crust / crunch on the outside of your shrimp, but be advised that your shrimp will realllyyyyyyyy taste like Old Bay seasoning if you do that. Add any other spices that make you happy. Slap some minced garlic into that pan and let it start filling your nostrils with the smell of cooked garlic. Include some of the chopped bottom (white parts) of the scallions if you want too. Throw the shrimps into the pan and squirt in a bit of lime juice for good measure. If you are feeling real hot and heavy then you can even add a shot of tequila into the pan. If you choose to do that, please be sure to make yourself a tequila-based cocktail while you are cooking for drinking purposes.
Cook the shrimps, turning occasionally, until they start to turn pink all over. They're going to go into a hot oven later, so they don't have to be fully done, but you want them pretty much mostly done. This only takes a few minutes.
Meanwhile, put the beans into a small pot and get those heated up. You can pretty much cook the beans to the normal extent that you'd cook them normally if you were just making beans for any given normal reason.
Also meanwhile, go ahead and food process the crap out of your salsa. All we've got in the bowl right now is tomato, onion and habanero -- so go ahead and add some lime juice, a handful of cilantro, a little bit of garlic and like whatever else you're interested in putting in there. Do a couple of pulses. You're going to want it to look like salsa when you're done, so pay attention. One pulse will just give you some chopped veggies. A couple more will give you average restaurant-style-looking salsa. Too many pulses and you'll have a gross tomato soup.
Also also meanwhile, place like one avocado's worth of chopped avocado in a small bowl. On top of that, heave in several spoonfuls of sour cream. Start to mash these things together with a fork to combine them; ultimately you're going to want the mixture to be fairly smooth. See the picture for reference. Add as much lime juice and cilantro to this as you'd like.
When your shrimps are starting to get pretty done-looking, load up your warm cast iron skillet or baking sheet with your bag of blue chips. Just dump all of those bad boy chips into the skillet or baking sheet and form an even line. Do not burden yourself with too many consecutive layers of chips ... nobody likes a situation where you've got a bottom layer of boring chips, then a top layer of awesome chips that have all the nacho crap on top of them.
Open your bag of Mexican shredded cheese and unload it on top of your chips. Completely cover the chips with cheese. I promise you that you will never use too much of this cheese. If needed, alternate between layers of chips - cheese - chips - cheese at this point to avoid leaving the bottom chips completely orphaned.
Stick this in the oven by itself for a few minutes. Take it out when parts of your cheese are starting to kinda look a little melty. The objective here is just to make the chips hot and start getting the cheese in the mood. Otherwise you wind up with hot nacho toppings but relatively cold chips.
Begin your operation of layering stuff. Dump any more cheese there is remaining anywhere in your apartment or in your upstair's neighbor's apartment into the skillet. Then take your pot of beans and turn it upside down into the skillet as well, except don't use all of that bean liquid ... you're actually gonna wanna use a slotted spoon here rather than literally turning the pot upside down like I just wrote. Layer and spread evenly. This is the only skill required in making this dish. Finally, evenly layer your shrimp across on top of everything else.
Put all of that in the oven for like ... 5 or 10 or maybe even 15 minutes. Depends on how your oven works, I guess, or how hot 450 degrees actually is. You're going to remove this from the oven when the cheese is fully melted and it all looks correct.
How To Serve Your Super Bowl Nachos
You're now well past the hard part of this. Spoiler alert: There was never really a hard part. You now have a choice to make -- will you load up your pan of nachos with toppings now? Or will you dole out a serving of the nachos and let each individual person load them up with toppings to their own satisfaction? I personally recommend the latter, because people can be particular about what they like on their nachos.
So yeah, take out some of the nachos with a spatula and put them on your plate. Slowly rub your hands together in anticipation and lick your lips. Then top the nachos with as much of the homemade habanero salsa and avocado-lime sour cream as you'd like. At the very top, sprinkle on some more green stuff to make your plate look awesome for your Instagram photo. Chopped cilantro and the chopped green ends of the scallions are highly encouraged. So is diced fresh jalapeño if you want more spice.
How To Eat Your Super Bowl Shrimp Nachos
As is the case with all of the best food that Americans invented -- and, as far as I can tell, nachos were not invented in northern Mexico in 1943, but in fact, they were invented in America, by me, just now -- you should eat your Super Bowl shrimp nachos with your hands, and specifically with your fingers for improved dexterity. There are a few mistakes that you might have made throughout the process that could lead the disaster of you having to utilize a fork and/or knife during this process. You might have somehow gotten your chips so soggy that they fold onto themselves rather than supporting their toppings. You might have accidentally forgotten to use a plate, so now your food is all over the floor. In this instance, you'll actually want to vacuum all of the food up using a hand-held Dyson (all Amazon purchases kick a fee back to the author of this article) and then eat your food out of the vacuum bowl.
More realistically, there are plenty of other ways to eat these nachos as well, in real life, with your hands or whatever. You could add sliced black olives into the mix if you want. If you prefer queso to melted shredded cheese, I respect the hell out of that and I urge you to try that and tell me how it goes.
How To Love Your Super Bowl Shrimp Nachos
This is, once again, very much up for interpretation. You can love nachos in a number of different ways, and they range from the physical to the mental to the emotional to even the sexual. One thing that is important is to always take a photo of your food and post it on the Internet -- otherwise, it doesn't count as eating. Side note: This is handy to remember for when you want to eat a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting. If you don't post about it, none of the calories will affect you. Please remember to tag me -- the official and recognized inventor of shrimp nachos -- in all of your posts.